i wasn't being awkward, that's just my face. (belladonnalin) wrote in affair_with_me,
i wasn't being awkward, that's just my face.

Updating on my November Affair

I'm wondering if a daily update on the small things might make this feel more ... required.

Also, maybe it'll give some inspiration to someone.

Heh. 'Cause I'm so inspirational.

Anyway, I think that part of my lack of updating here has been feeling like what I do isn't Enough. Which is ... well, stupid.

So my November challenge to myself started yesterday. One small thing every day that I wanted or desired, no guilt, just giving myself that.

Yesterday was tiny. After talking to sonicage on IM, I really wanted a Slurpee. It was only 8 pm, but it was so DARK and I didn't want to ask my roommate for a ride because I'm weird about favors. But then I realized ... the 7/11 is probably only a 15 minute walk away!

So I went and got myself a Slurpee. I even brought one back for the Bean Girl and our roommate. And it was tiny, but it was important ... because I was acknowledging that the $1.50 for a Slurpee was what I wanted to do. And when I was walking in the drizzle, carrying a drink carrier with less than $5 worth of beverage back to the house, I realized that I kind of wanted the walk, the time alone, too.

Tonight, I'm having dinner with my friend Joey, helping him with some stuff for his other job. It doesn't SOUND like an Affair With Me thing, but it is. Because I want to see Joey. I won't feel guilty about the work I should be doing ('cause I should) or about not having called people or invited more people to join us. I will enjoy Joey, I will enjoy our time, and I will give myself the gift of doing it guilt-free.

So it's a start.
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